Soft play for beginners

Wow. I mean, wow. I have just spent a ear ringing, slightly deafening hour and a half at soft play. I’ve got that mild tinnitus feeling, a bit like I’ve been clubbing. I went to the same venue a few days ago at the same early time when it was sunny, and it was quiet and dare I say, calm. The same place today however, with it raining outside and it had a different, somewhat anarchic feel to it. Everyone clearly had the same idea today and within fifteen minutes of the venue opening, I counted about twenty children (admittedly I may have double counted as they don’t stay still for long, do they) As I sat there guarding my latte with one eye on my child (yep, there she is on top of the Wendy house) I started thinking about how crazy and daunting soft play can sometimes be, here are my facts and tips to get you through it.

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  1. Buy coffee the minute you enter, you’re going to need it.
  2. You’ll pay for an hour and half, maybe two but you’ll want to go home after 15 minutes.
  3. Even though you feel like leaving, you refuse to as you’ve paid for the full time, but you mentally count down the minutes, eyes darting at the clock ever other second.
  4. There will be some crazy kids in the ball pit throwing everything out, just as your child wants to go in it.
  5. Consider it a sort of work out, you’re pushing your child around in cars, you’re bouncing in the bouncy castle, your slow-mo running around at times, it’s loosing you calorie’s, I’m sure of it.
  6. Within 10 minute’s of being in the venue you will smell poo, someone’s child will have filled their nappy. Then its like poo lemmings, they all do it.
  7. It’s often mayhem, accept this. Although glancing at other adults looking for reassurance helps too.
  8. Out of all the toys to play with, yours will want to rummage through someone else’s handbag or sit in the car seat someone has bought in for their new born.
  9. Accept that sometimes hits or pushes happen, often done when out of sight, e.g. in the Wendy house, then queue awkward telling off from both parties.
  10. You may have a ‘Where’s Wally’ momentary panic when you can’t spot your child in amongst the sea of heads, then you spot them sitting in the ball pit virtually submerged.
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There you have it, this should see you through and remember, be strong, you can do it :)

9 thoughts on “Soft play for beginners

  1. The funniest thing about soft play, for me, was the moment I realised my little one didn’t need me to run after them, that I didn’t need to constantly check they weren’t damaging another child or snatching a toy or stealing something out if someone’s handbag – I just sat, drank my coffee & stopped. It’s was at Cheekys, my little man was almost 3 & I was nine months pregnant – DOH!! – round 2 ;0

    • Hahaha it must have been a moment of clarity – why am I doing this, he’s fine! O is pretty good but every now and again I have to intervene, or jump up from my chair and rescue her! Thanks for commenting Tash xx

  2. Brilliant! We have the opposite in Dubai….. 3 long months of 50degree heat forces us Mummies to do the rounds of every soft play in the city! Ended up sending hubby a few days ago as couldn’t face yet another one! Nice to know it’s the same worldwide x

    • Jeez that heat must be a killer! By now you must know every single soft play inside out!! My hubby has yet to experience the joy .. maybe i need to send him?! Thanks for commenting Claire xx

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