I’ve had two very different announcements this week. A pregnancy one on Facebook with the standard scan photo, and a text from a friend, telling me about her miscarriage. What a stark difference. How exciting and wonderful for one person, and how truly rubbish and shit for the other. This is sadly just the harsh reality of life. Off the back of this, a thought popped into my head, it’s June. It’s June. This is the month I was supposed to be due, the month I was supposed to have a new baby. How had I forgotten about this, and now I’d remembered, how did I feel about this?
Do you know what? I feel OK. Failed IVF round aside, the fact that I have reached this pretty big milestone month and the thought hasn’t popped into my head until now, shows that the healing process has taken place. Rewind back to December and I honestly thought the sun would never shine in my soul again, sounds deep but I mean that. It was the darkest cloud I’ve ever experienced. At times I felt very lost, scared that I’d never feel the same ever again, it was relentless. A few things got me through those months, but ultimately, I’m still here, it’s June, and I made it.
To my dear friend, and to any women who have just gone through or are experiencing the same, just hold on in there, you will reach the other side. You might not feel it, but you do have the strength. Give yourself time, be kind to yourself, take time off work, get extra childcare for your kids, call in those favours, don’t apologise for any tears. Know that you will get through it, no matter how low or dark you feel at times. You will be OK.
This is for you x