I’ve been blogging since early December, when this site went live. I’ve been reading blogs for a few years now and wanted to start my own for a while but being pregnant and having a baby got in the way, it was only really in December when I finally felt ready to do this. I’ve noticed over the past few weeks that I have been spending long hours in front of my laptop, something I haven’t done since my work days, now that I have opted to become a stay at home mum. I’ve been enjoying blogging but I started to feel like something wasn’t quite right. Something didn’t fit and felt amiss.
I’m a new mum, although my baby is nearly a year (waaaa!) I felt like I was suddenly neglecting her, opting to spend long hours during the day in front of my laptop instead of playing with her. In my defence I was struggling with a severe face eczema reaction which occurred in January and I hardly went outside for fear of scaring people, so I spent my time inside instead, tapping away. But despite spending a lot of time at my computer, I wasn’t really achieving much. So much time can be wasted on Twitter or Instagram (or Facebook/Daily Mail website/Top shop etc) so I wasn’t actually writing that much. I was effectively spending a lot of time doing very little and I was feeling it, I was frustrated.
When you are new to the blogging word, even if like me you’ve been aware of it and have been reading blogs for a long time, it can be a daunting world to enter. I felt a bit like the new girl at school and its quite overwhelming as you see the huge success a lot of others have already. I felt a strange sense of panic as I felt I needed to get posts written and out as quickly as possible but I couldn’t find the time to write or finish them. I spent time on Tweetdeck and Buffer, trying to churn out old posts that I’d published, but again this didn’t feel right, it didn’t really fit with what I was trying to do and quite honestly I’d only just started so did I really need to be doing this? I spent hours trying to sort out posts so I could join Linkies, again I think because I saw other bloggers doing this, I felt like I needed to. I got caught up in whirlwind of everything.
I’ve read lots of posts by other bloggers on ‘how to’ blog and ‘what they know about blogging’ which are always so useful and I kept seeing the same, similar comments about how you need to love blogging and stay true to yourself to do it but it wasn’t until I read a comment on Katie’s blog Pouting in Heels that something suddenly clicked. It was this ‘Only blog if you love it! As my wise and beautiful friend Zaz from Mama & More! once told me, “blogging is a very expensive hobby to have” therefore you really need to love what you do.’ I realised I was trying to do too much, I was trying to hard. I was half heartedly blogging, half writing posts then starting new ones before finishing other ones and it was depressing me seeing lots of ‘DRAFT’ statuses every time I logged into my WordPress account. I have been using social media a lot too and its such an easy thing to get caught up in, any free time I had I was spending there instead of concentrating on writing, which quite frankly is why I started the blog in the first place!
So I took a step back, for a week or so I tried not to worry about tweeting and writing and I concentrated on my baby. My face eczema has gotten a lot better so I’ve been out and about a lot more too and do you know what, its really helped. I have realised that I need to concentrate on the writing side of things, that yes I can tweet and stick up instagram pictures, I enjoy that, but I’m not going to worry about scheduling tweets or promoting my blog every day, that’s not why I started this and to be honest, that’s not really what I’m about either. I’m not going to fret about having a Facebook page, and believe me, I really was stressing about this! I will try and join in with some of the Linkies but I’m not going to worry if I don’t, it really doesn’t matter. I feel like a small weight has been lifted, its so easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing that you can loose sight of what you were or are trying to achieve. I feel a lot better and happier for this and it was reading Katie’s comment that made me realise that I had fallen out of love a bit with blogging because I was trying to do too much. It made me start disliking it and like the quote said, you have to love it to do it. Taking a step back and re-evaluating made me see things clearer. I do enjoy blogging and want to do it, but I can’t do everything at once and if I can’t, that okay