I was invited along to an event recently, which was a first birthday bash and a celebration of women in business. The day was about giving likeminded ladies a chance to come together, to eat wonderful food, to network and to listen to a panel of business women talk about how they’ve managed and made it in a sometimes male dominated world. Sounds pretty good, right? Hugely inspiring yes? On paper, yes. The problem was that I didn’t think too much before heading there and when I got there, I panicked. I felt like a total fraud.
A story cropped up in the media over the weekend that caught my eye. Now before I prattle on, commenting on news stories isn’t usually my thing, but after reading this I wanted to write a response of sorts as the article irked me a little. Firstly let me talk about me (standard) and my Instagram page. I love posting photos of lovely (or terrible) food, coffee (lots of the stuff), occasional photos of me or the kid doing something silly. I generally try to write a comment underneath each photo that is true to life, something about that scenario, something funny the kid has done or something going on in my life at that moment, like clearing up toys or being so tired I need matchsticks for my eyes, that kind of thing. I want to show and comment about the reality of parenting. It’s not all pretty filters (although they help, obviously) and smiling children. Quite often it’s lots of wine, poo, tears from both the baby and you and sleepless nights. In fact when I started my page, one of my most popular photos was one of me covered in sick, at a soft play. It showed me that fellow parents liked this disgusting but funny and truthful side to Instagram.
My smallie is starting nursery tomorrow and I’m not too sure how I feel about this. I made the decision not to return to work after having her, so apart from the odd weekend away from us with family, she has essentially been in my care full time from day dot. Right now, I feel like she needs some time away from me. She is not a clingy child but she has regressed in recent weeks and currently can’t bear me to walk up the stairs without holding her hand, and often demands that I hold her and pick her up. At the same time, she won’t listen to a single thing I say, she needs me but she also rebels, oh the confusion! Because of this, I know that having some of the structure that the nursery will bring, will be really good for her, but despite knowing she needs this, there’s a small part of me (okay it’s a big part) that doesn’t want her to go at all! Is that normal?