I’ve had two very different announcements this week. A pregnancy one on Facebook with the standard scan photo, and a text from a friend, telling me about her miscarriage. What a stark difference. How exciting and wonderful for one person, and how truly rubbish and shit for the other. This is sadly just the harsh reality of life. Off the back of this, a thought popped into my head, it’s June. It’s June. This is the month I was supposed to be due, the month I was supposed to have a new baby. How had I forgotten about this and now I’d remembered, how did I feel about this?
Do you know what? I feel OK. Gosh, it’s been a lot to deal with these past two years. The miscarriage then a failed FET round. My body has been through the mill. But to reach this milestone month and not even remember, shows that the healing process has been taking place. Rewind back to December and I honestly thought the sun would never shine in my soul again, sounds deep but I mean that. It was the darkest cloud I’ve ever experienced. At times I felt very lost, scared that I’d never feel the same ever again, it was relentless. A few things got me through those months, but ultimately, I’m still here, it’s June, and I made it.
To my dear friend and to any women who have just gone through or are experiencing the same, just hold on in there, you will reach the other side. You might not feel it, but you do and you will have the strength. Give yourself time, be kind to yourself, take time off work, get extra childcare for your kids, call in those favours, don’t apologise for any tears. Know that you will get through it, no matter how low or dark you feel at times. You will be OK. You are allowed to feel your feelings and to be sad. Your feelings are valid. To let the balls drop, to not have to do everything, remind yourself of this during this time. We are strong, yes, we are super women but we don’t have to appear so all the time.
This is for you x