How To Survive A Coffee Shop Visit With A Toddler

Coffee, it’s wonderful stuff isn’t it. Dark, rich, velvety, milk-foamy, chocolate topped loveliness. Making and drinking it has become part of my daily, morning routine. It signals the start of my day and often gives me a much needed kick-start, especially if the kid has been up wailing in the night. A favourite past time of mine used to be sitting in coffee shops, watching the world go by *sigh* but those days are long gone. Nowadays, going out for a relaxed cup just doesn’t have quite the same appeal as it used to. A trip to a nice coffee shop now is actually a mission in itself, requiring tactical planning in advance. Something that was once so easy, can now be a tad stressful. After a recent visit to one establishment, I left with some serious top lip sweat, red faced and apologising to people as I went after the kid launched a muffin at someone, forced people to wave at her by shouting ‘ALLOO’ at them in her best Danny Dyer voice, she shrieked a lot as I attempted to remove my cake from her hands (her anger resulted in the aforementioned muffin throwing) and she finished off by doing the crocodile death roll when I attempted to get her back into the buggy. I’m fairly certain I saw the entire shop heave a collective sigh of relief as I exited.

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