The words to this letter have whirling around my head for a while now my darling daughter, really since the day you were born, but the time hasn’t felt right to put those words down until now. I wanted to write you a letter at each birthday but I think this one alone will hopefully cover the last two years of your busy little life. I’ve got so many things to say to you, to tell you and to let you know about, but I’ll try to keep this simple and not prattle on too much. I’ll get the slushy stuff out of the way first, okay?
Oh, where to start. This letter is a bit long overdue. I should have written this about ten years ago but I’m a bit behind what with life, having a baby, oh and I’m a bit lazy, that too. I want to say a few things and an open letter on the internet is always a good place to start now isn’t it 😉
If I was a time traveller (which, I’m not, by the way), there are quite a few bits of my past that I would change, the majority of which involve you. I don’t want this to turn into a list of all the naughty things I did when I was younger, because lets face it, one post alone wouldn’t cover it (!!) but there are certainly some things that I still carry guilt around for and now that I’m a mum, especially to a girl its like I’ve had a huge epiphany moment. I can appreciate what you went through, I get it, trying to raise a wayward teenage daughter, and how hard things must have been and I am sorry.
I think you are the most amazing woman. You are kind, strong and brave and if anyone were to ask me who I look up to or who I admire, it wouldn’t be anyone famous, it would be you. You single handily (pretty much) raised me, my brother and sister whilst Pops was working abroad. You coped with moving the family around, being in new places on your own, raising new babies, often with little or no help. I’ve always got the impression that you just got on with things, when no doubt, things were quite tough for you. And you and Pops are something else, you guys have made it work. Things haven’t always been rosy, but you guys have rolled with it, soldiered on and powered through and you’re still together, that’s an amazing feet in itself. You are a little double act now, a team together dealing with new challenges.
You are always there for me when I need you, you always offer to help, no request is ever denied (within reason!) you always think of others and are incredibly generous. You are everything I want to be in a mother. I know I need to do this my own way, but that you will always be there for me. I’m just so sorry it took me so long to see all of this, but we got there eventually!
Love you Mumma xx
If you could write an open letter, who would you send yours too?
I saw a card the other day on Gin Bunny Prints that made me laugh. Laugh out loud because it was funny but also, because I am THAT person. I am the one who generally has ‘too much fun’ and has to be put in a taxi at 9pm. The one who has to be taken home by the husband before he’s even had a chance to say hello to everyone in the room. I am the one who can’t say no to a passing tray of fizz (who can?!) or to someone offering me a drink, even if I already have one. I’m a yes person when it comes to alcohol. Its kind of funny that I am this person, it was definitely hilarious when I was in my twenties, I was the bloody life and soul I tell you!! And my staying power was more in the AM’s rather than the PM’s as it is now, however, I’ve reached a point in my life now, where I don’t really like being that person anymore but I don’t know how to make the change? How to you change a mindset of twenty years? Continue reading