On Giving Yourself Space

I’m into week two of the Easter Holidays and boy, am I finding it a little on the difficult side. See, the kids nursery stops for the holidays so that’s me out of my lovely day and a half that I have to myself and I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve found it really tough. That day and a half is when I ‘get shit done’. I write, I edit, I surf the net, I waste time on social media (obvs) I do admin, house-min and most importantly get the chance to sit in a coffee shop uninterrupted. It’s much needed time away from my sidekick, as much as I love her. She’s full speed my daughter, a bruiser in a princess dress, a Duracell bunny, she’s all go and no, I wouldn’t have her any other way. But, as we sidled into week two of the break, because she’s with me with 24/7, I’ve been reminded how incredibly moany, whiney, and three year old-esque she is. My patience has worn thin. I’ve uttered more empty threats in the last few days than I have in the last year. The only thing that has been giving me comfort is the amount of other parents I’ve seen muttering and shouting at their own children to, ‘WILL YOU JUST LISTEN!’. Thank god it’s not just me.


Parenting is wonderful, amazing and blah, blah all the rest, but when you’re dealing with a three year old who just wont listen to what you’re saying, it’s bloody hard work. Be it the importance of not running into the road, why it’s silly to pick up dog poo or why you shouldn’t poke yourself in the face with a stick, what we’re saying, quite often makes sense (apart from when I explain her left and right, I always get that wrong) but do they want to listen to us? Hell no. So now that I’ve found myself with two full weeks of the kid, I’ve found us both descending into slight mayhem. We’ve been getting up and doing things for the day but everything is met with some sort of resistance. We go round in never ending circles of requests, refusals and meltdowns.

So here’s the deal. Whilst we try and do a shed load of stuff with them, for them, which is the hilarious thing right? We’re doing FUN STUFF FOR YOU DARLING! But yet they moan all the way round the play park/woods/national trust egg hunt etc. What we need to remember is that we need and are allowed our own space and time, kids don’t need entertaining all the time. There have been a few moments this holiday when we’ve come back from an activity and I’ve told her straight, that she’s to play on her own for the next hour or so and do you know what? She’s done it. Okay it takes me not really talking to her for her to finally sulk out of the room, but she does actually go and play in her playroom (you know, that room with all the toys where she never spends any time) or her bedroom, it’s amazing! Or I stick on back to back DVD’s for her to watch, just so I can sit and breathe. And in that time I get a brief rest bite. Albeit not much, but enough to give us both some much needed time out. It’s not selfish or mean, I’m not being horrible to her making her play on her own. I shouldn’t feel any guilt about this. It’s perfectly fine and gives both me and her time to regroup those crazy, emotional thoughts and bring them back down to earth.

One thought on “On Giving Yourself Space

  1. Totally relate to that. It’s quality time not just quantity. I’ve started telling my 3 year old that shit just needs to get done (well maybe I say “stuff” but I’m thinking shit) and if she wants me to play with her then she needs to help me with my stuff like the house chores and cleaning and she either does or starts to play by herself (a bit). Either way I feel no guilt cuz there’s a time limit on it and if I don’t do that then I’ll end up only ever giving her half my attention all day. We do need respite cuz we can’t pour from an empty glass x

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