I’ve been struggling a bit recently, really struggling and it’s two particular things that have been making me feel like this. I last wrote about not being pregnant back in February, and I’ve kept quiet since then because you try to focus and look forward as much as possible, don’t you. However another month has nearly gone by and I have to say that in the last few days, for some reason, I have been finding things hard. I’ve been feeling like this groundhog day cycle is never going to end. And alongside this, the kid has been pushing me as hard as she can. She has reached a new phase in her little life and I am finding that she swings from, ‘super happy’ to ‘angry moaning minnie’ constantly, and that’s actually quite tough when it’s all day, every day. Things seem to have come to a head and I’ve been feeling a bit like I’ve been wearing Eeyore’s sad face, complete with my own little grey cloud.
My husband and I had a face-draining, heart stopping, stomach churning moment with the kid recently. One that has imprinted a thought to the forefront of my mind. A thought that seems so obvious given that I am now a mother and together we are parents, but sometimes we forget this one thing, this one simple thing and that is, ‘responsibility‘. Our responsibility towards our child. This isn’t a dramatic story (I realise that I may have built it up slightly) but the situation was enough to make me stop and take stock, and sometimes as a parent a reminder is needed.
I found the amazing Hanna Sillitoe via Google a few months back. This sounds a bit like an online dating thing but it isn’t, I promise. I was dealing with some horrible skin issues and much inter-web searching lead me to her site and her story about how she healed her psoriasis through juicing and completely changing her diet. I got to do a Q&A with her on here and since then, I always check back to her site and social media accounts to look at the recipes she’s created, honestly she makes the most delicious looking food. I discovered her amazing Mango Salad with satay dressing during one search, and it’s proved to be one of the most satisfying mid week meals I’ve had in a long time. It’s really healthy and easy to make, and despite the husbands sad face when he saw there wasn’t any ‘meat’ in this, he loved it too. I’ve tweaked the original recipe slightly when I found the mango I wanted to use was really squishy, I ended up experimenting by baking it, and this worked perfectly. I’ve just had this meal for dinner but it would make an awesome big lunch as well. It’s a proper bowl of happiness for your tummy
Sometimes in life, things come to us easily. Some people just seem to have the right tools from the outset, whatever those ‘tools’ may be. Some people breeze along, always looking amazing and like nothing phases them. These people just seem to ‘get it’ right, whether that be clothes, hair, jobs or just life in general. Life just comes naturally to some people. And me? Well, I’m not one of those people. I never have been and I don’t think I ever will be, but it’s taken me a long time to accept that. In fact, it’s only really now that I’m in my thirties, oh who am I kidding, I’m the the grand old age of thirty seven (sob) that I’ve half-heartedly accepted this. But at this age, what exactly have I figured out? What have I finally got right, what have I accepted and what have I still not sorted out yet?
The National Trust to me when I was in my twenties, was just for old people. It conjured up images of boring old buildings with lots of grey haired walkers wondering about in mud clad boots. Fast forward to now and actually that last image isn’t far wrong, but there is a whole lot more to the National Trust than just the older generation. It’s effectively a conservation organisation, founded in 1895 it protects country houses, gardens, grounds, coastlines and historic landscapes. It’s a lifesaver when it comes to saving our beautiful countryside, but I’ve also learnt that it’s a fantastic lifesaver for parents too. I bought myself membership last year and it’s one of the best things I’ve spent money on since having a baby. Membership gives me access to some great places, wide open spaces (unintentional rhyme), a bit of history, houses to nose around and of course, great coffee and cake too. Now that the kid is two, I can sometimes (sometimes) coerce her into a bit of walking, so NT places are great for exploring, climbing and just being outside in the fresh air. I’m a big believer (not beliber) of getting both me and her outside as much as possible, it keeps me sane and it wears her out, win win. Here are some of the awesome places that I’ve ventured to so far.